#bc everyone is worthy of love
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hey hey no look at me. look at me. you're gonna be okay. maybe not right now, or even soon, but in the end, everything will turn out just fine. you are not hard to love and anyone who makes you feel otherwise isn't worth your time, yeah?
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I know we like writing fics where Jason is all "I'm not the kid you lost" and "he died and I'm all the worst parts of him that came back" and whatever. but lately I've been thinking about a Jason that's angry bc everyone thinks he came back wrong, because to him, he's the same as he's always been. sure, he's more upset and angry and traumatized, but he's still Jason.
I've been thinking about a Jason that spent most of the time since his death underground and then catatonic. to him, hardly any time has passed at all. to his family, three years have gone by. and Jason knows he looks different than he did, and he knows he's sharper around the edges, now, but he's still Jason. he's the same kid that died and now he's back and why doesn't anyone see that?
they're the ones that changed, not him
#anyway#I just think it'd be neat#bc I love a good 'Jason has no self worth and everyone needs to convince him he's worthy still'#but the angst of trying to convince you're family you're still in there#under layers of trauma and pain and anger#that you're still YOU despite it all#and I want him to recon w the fact that Dick and Bruce and Alfred are different now#that part of that is his fault (for dying)#that the rest is their fault (for coping so poorly)#(batman used to smile is the thing)#jason todd#batman#batfam#bruce wayne#dick grayson
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Red Nightwing suit appreciation post ❤️🪽
#don’t get me wrong I LOVE the blue suit#but how epic would it be if the suit was red bc then he’d be matching with like everyone else in the family#Batfamily having a red/black scheme would be epic#like most of the superfamily has a matching color scheme why don’t the bats!!#we’re already mostly there we just need to convert dick and Stephanie and then boom we’ve got a family-picture worthy assembly of vigilante#anyway that’s my rant#dc#dc comics#bruce wayne#batman#batfamily#dick grayson#batfamily headcannons#jason todd#tim Drake#Damian Wayne#stephanie brown and jason todd
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the room's not the world; the world is much bigger, and much stranger.
#control#remedy control#my god the last few years have been me finding new design aesthetics i like#bc Oh My God this game is STUPIDLY beautiful#i NEVER mess around with photo modes in games#because i can never quite get things to look right#but control is so goddamn beautiful that any photo you take is immediately museum worthy#so yeah i’m oddly very happy with how these look lol#remedy have a really really good knack for design and visuals and aesthetics in general but control is just. unfair to everyone else. lol#might mess around with AW2's photo mode as well because that game is similarly stunning#but. Man. i fucking love this game#i might end up using some of these as wallpapers at some point bc they're that pretty lol
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I don't know if I've seen this said yet, and maybe no one else other than me is thinking it, but here goes:
I can't wait to read Nora's The Sunshine Court. TSC is a lovely gift from an author ten years later, and she has every right to do with her characters as she wishes. They are hers, and we'll be lucky to see her vision of the characters she created a decade ago.
But it's also true that we have ten years of fandom making up for lost time. Ten years of running with the tiniest crumbs of canon to weave tales and art of Jean Moreau, Jeremy Knox, and the Trojans. So regardless if Nora makes Jerejean frenemies, platonic, romantic, or other - please don't remove your works just because they don't fit canon anymore.
There are tons of lovely fics, art pieces, podcasts and more out there about the romantic entanglements of Jerejean, Kevjean, Keremy, Kerejean, Laila/Dermott and more. There are multiple stories of growth and friendship and healing between Jean and Jeremy. Of reconciliation and forgiveness and discovery between Jean and Kevin. Of angst and loss and bittersweet dissonance between Kevin and Jean. Of found family and freedom and coming together despite your differences between Jean and the Trojans.
They are still good, they are still worthy, and they are still someone's favorite. Don't squash your creativity or become ashamed if your take on Jean, Jeremy, or the Trojans was different than what Nora pictured. You explored and created something wonderful in a time when there was no canon to follow. You should be proud of what you wrote (or drew or recorded). Just remember there were tons of folks out there that enjoyed them right along with you and would be greatly disappointed if you removed them just because you thought no one would appreciate them anymore.
Much love, AFTG fans ❤️ Let's all enjoy what Nora and TSC has to offer while still supporting each other. Promise we can do both 😉
#end of psa#I just want everyone to enjoy their own takes on jerejean#or kerejean or keremy etc#without feeling guilty#or like it's not worthy anymore just bc it doesn't meet what Nora's thoughts are#I love so many authors/artists takes on them#please don't remove them!!#it will make me and others very sad#jean moreau#jeremy knox#aftg#all for the game#kevin day#the sunshine court#tsc#nora sakavic
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When I suggest Mike’s arc is in part a queer coming of age story and not just him being some prize to help El or Will defeat the big bad—
Angry anons:
#byler#mike wheeler#I’m sorry but you don’t turn off your protagonists pov and expect to get away with it#you do it to hide something and save it for the end#if mikes arc ends with I love you will or them just having feelings for each other#all that does is equate to El and Mike’s love saving the day#it’s more than compatibility or lack there of#it’s the fucking 80s and their queer okay#let’s wake up and smell the roses#s5 is going to be rated m it’s going to be dark#everyone is going to reach their limits#if you think mikes limits are that he’s insecure bc he can’t save everyone and what will resolve that is him saving someone…#and that’s it…#what…?#that’s not… that’s not worthy of confusing your audience the entire show and especially the last two seasons#there needs to be something to make all those moments in previous seasons feel more impactful#and Mike and Will both assuming their alone in going crazy in the 80s#only to find out they’re not#but that they’re actually going crazy together#that’s a slow burn worth waiting until the end for#slow burn is about slowly burning#that’s what they’ve been doing for the last 4 seasons#I don’t get making their end look identical to milkvans by just recycling their scenes in the last season#the whole point of milkvan is to show what not to do#so anything that happened between them#we can pretty much rule out for byler#the truth is a lot more complex than what s4 presented#if it was really as simple as presented#s5 would offer no surprises#it would just fall flat
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"Rodimus is a better Prime because it didn't hurt for him to bond with the Matrix while for Optimus it did" headcanon/theory my beloathed.
One day I'm literally gonna snap and make a whole post addressing why what's wrong bc I'm tired of the inaccuracy and tired of ppl not understanding the Point TM of IDW and its version of the Matrix/Primacy and even more tired of people putting down Optimus in favor of Rodimus by essentially arguing that being unworthy means you deserve to be punished/put in pain bc you just weren't good enough to hold the Symbol of Ultimate Authority
#it's wrong on so many levels both in terms of lore and as well as like what the general themes of idw1 are#it's just a validation contest using the matrix as some magical symbol to decide who's the most special#which is ironically something that was a plot point in exrid/OP. specifically how stupid of an idea that is ldskjflksd#ppl revealing that they havent read anything besides mtmte/ll as usual#like half the reason ppl think optimus is a bad prime and rodimus is a good prime is literally bc like#optimus was written by an author who was specifically trying to deconstruct him (sometimes to the point of absurdity)#and rodimus was written by an author who takes a more optimistic/idealistic approach. and is also better at writing#but also like am i seriously the only person who thinks that that argument is fucked up?????#like 'OP felt pain which means he's unworthy/not a real prime/not a true leader'#ok so you think that there's a hierarchy of moral goodness in which anyone who falls short of that Moral Ideal should suffer#as a sign of their unworthiness?? like does that not sound dystopian as hell to any of you?? why would you WANT the matrix to work like tha#even if the theory were true (which it isn't) why would you view the matrix as a good authoritative moral judge of character#if its idea of 'moral judgement' is to inflict pain on anyone who's supposedly not truly good/worthy#wasn't the entire point of the ending of LL (including rodimus being a good leader) that everyone is worth it?#like rodimus literally said 'you ARE damn well good enough' or something like that#so what? everyone else in the universe tries their best and that's enough but somehow when OP suffers it's like#a sign that he's not actually a good prime/leader?? we're really going with the punitive perspective purely for One Guy??#swear to god ppl are projecting their authority issues onto Optimus the way they shit on him for things they would excuse#if any other character did it#Optimus is uniquely deserving of pain/being marked as unworthy bc idk he was a cop once and that offends my delicate sensibilities#what's even funnier is how much harm was inflicted by rodimus as a captain sheerly due to his stupidity or ego but everyone forgives him#i guess bc as long as the matrix likes him that means he's valid no matter what he actually does as a person#WHICH IS SOMETHING IDW ITSELF ARGUED AGAINST BC A LOT OF THE PRIMES THAT WERE CHOSEN BY THE MATRIX#WERE DICKS AND THE FACT THEY COULD WIELD THE MATRIX DIDN'T MAKE THEM GOOD PEOPLE#like oh my god stop using the matrix as an arbiter of moral authority in idw1 it literally goes against the themes of the story#including the themes that are embodied in rodimus himself#idw op love
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n wants to be a hero and rule the world to make it better but he explicitly doesn’t want to use force because he thinks in the end that would just hurt pokémon more… i’m so fascinated by this bug… such a kindhearted gentle soul and deeply misguided troubled guy at once
#goldie plays pokémon black#i mean.#he should tone down his ego several notches there what with thinking he’s the one destined to be a legendary hero#to whom everyone should listen#but granted. if it were gonna be anyone he does seem the most worthy#for how much he cares but also just how much he understands#i love him. but i gotta stop him#he’s still threatening to separate my pokémon from me. even after establishing that i’m one of the good ones#bc i guess it’s an all or nothing sort of thing to him#but i honestly don’t know what to do with him#it doesn’t seem like words would persuade him#nope#we’ve tried talking to him but like. he’s not a negotiating kind of guy#and his social skills are abysmal
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😮💨
[sorry for the hardcore tag rants, y'all]
#more than a little exhausted by certain things#no stability anywhere in life#not in work or family or even friends#would settle for literally just one single shred of continuity and reliance#one single piece of my life I can count on to be there for me and reliable and safe#just a shred of something or someone being there for me in the long run#work has proven garbage#family is so fucking volatile it might as well be an unhandled explosive#and the very few threads of friendship I've found and thought were worth the time and effort to strengthen have just#left me abandoned or floundering doing either all the work to be left behind or what I can to be uncounted for#either nothing or not enough and not counted for in the long run#because apparently my friendship is just as forgettable or easily disregarded as every other part of me#or at least that's how it definitely fuckin feels#and I'm So Spooked when it comes to making friends!#I'm scared to connect with people who actually seem genuinely interested in getting to know me and talk to me!#and that sucks bc I want to get to know them but everyone else seemed interested at first too and then a few months later!#they're just as hard to get in touch with as everyone else who turns away!#I don't want to annoy anyone or be too much anymore#I'm tired of getting my feelings hurt like a big giant fucking baby!#i know it's mostly on me and managing shit but it still just. sucks ASS.#I don't wanr to be scared to make friends because people abandon me#I don't want to run people off#I want to be better and have better because I know I deserve it#sorry for ranting I'm just. incredibly jacked up about some more recent stuff bc it brought up long term stuff#i am not immune to hating myself bc of bad friends#anyway yeah sorry i am done grambling#grant grumbles#grambling is my new grant grumbles extra#also to you amazing guys who are so full of love (myccc and hack!!!!!) ily tons and you bring me life#i am trying to be just as cool and worthy as you both!!!! please don't ever leave me! you keep me going even if I don't show it well!!!
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claustrophobia combined with agoraphobia, is the stupidest shit in the world. like, oh, you’re going actually insane being stuck in the house all the time, due to your disability? oh, here’s sickening anxiety about leaving the house, like, wow, well done brain 👍🏻
#it’s a constant loop of wanting to leave but not being able to leave#like if it’s not physically it’s mentally#and like even if i have the energy to go out my brain is like ‘everyone is staring at you bc you have a mobility aid.’#like before it was ‘you look dumb in that outfit’ but now it’s like levelled up#you look dumb in that outfit AND everyone’s staring at you <3#but like my brain isn’t even lying! ppl do stare at me when i’m out! i’m not imagining it like i used to when i was a kid#like i’ve CAUGHT them staring at me#and it feeds the creature in my brain that’s like ‘you don’t deserve to have a life because you’re not like them’#like thanks i guess#idk it’s my birthday soon so the big breakdown is happening and it’s just making everything worse#like you’ve been on this earth for over two decades and you have nothing to show for it#just a stupid fucking blog#no one actually cares what you have to say#no one actually knows who you are#you lie about every facet of your personality and won’t let people see the real you bc you’re ashamed of her#and you hate making people care about you bc you don’t feel worthy of love and yet you crave it so badly it aches#*sighs*#look whatever i might just disappear off this blog#i could say i’ll only use it when i actually have something to say but half the time all i have to say is this kinda shit so 🤷🏻♀️#if ppl really wanna reach me then sure but otherwise bye
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oh my goodness lupita??!?!? D:
#whoever lied to her and hurt her is really lucky lupita keeps her private life sooooo private cause#that person otherwise would be in a world of hate >:(#her words are such a devestatingly enlightened way of looking at things though#lessons for life and storytelling#it reminds me of something i have held onto for over a decade now#not that i feel as worthy of love as someone as wonderful as lupita but#one time a friend looked at me and said to me: you have a lot of love to give dont you#and the comment confused me bc at the time i had just gotten out of a very bad relationship and was very painfully single#but since then whenever it feels like im the only person i know without a partner in life and everyone else looks happy#i remember that large measure of my capacity to love and remind myself that this doesn't change#its just without one single person to give it to#you can instead spread it around as platonic love to your friends#and that can be just as significant as giving it all to one person#it makes me feel better about being a lonely old curmudgeon
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another succession opinion. i love kendall’s character because hes a hilarious and well made representation of a real type of guy but this is why i also cannot understand the poor little meow meowification of him. i love kendall’s character bc i love watching him suffer and floundering and lose. hes my marie antoinette. the show should end with him (and the others, but the most important one to me is him) being beheaded by minimum wage waystar employees.
#i personally find him to be the most annoying and worthy of hating but respect to everyone who makes mitski edits of him.#this is not to judge bc i am also guilty of it with shiv#i think the main difference is that while i also like the dysfunctional family dynamic and the childhood stuff#i dont feel sorry for any of them for having a bad childhood or not being loved by logan#i think its compelling and all that but i also dont have sympathy for their woes and find it kinda funny#they also could all afford a therapist and so many psych meds that theyd never feel misery again#for shiv i do not love her for her woes i love her for girlbossing her way to divorce#someone finally gave a woman an avoidant attachment style and i love her for it#i cant stop making posts today bc saying opinions to the void is addicting to me#anyways#succession#mine
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that art of L deathnote got me thinking about death note and like......... im not even against l/light as a ship conceptually its just like i cant stand the way fandom does it.
like. theyre a lierally judas and jesus paralells theyre toxic. you have to be an L understander to get why he is obsessed with light and its not because he has this cute gay crush on him. and i REALLY dont get the people who like woobify light and make it so ‘kira’ is like a possession like???? thats not the point of any of this why are you even using these characters for this? it confuses me
but anyway i can support L/light ONLY if its done in a very specific way, thats very toxic and almost one-sided (or maybe unbalanced is a better word) not because Lights not interested (hes so like misogynist gay we all know this) in L but because he can NEVER understand L the way L understands him and thats all L wants is to be seen and to be on that level with someone. and thats the tragedy of their friendship is that L sees this person he can contend with and he can meet on his level but the same cannot be said for light.
but anyway ive never seen anyone who ships l/light do it that way specifically so ill continue to be a hater.
#like first of all the point of deathnote is to be edgy so jot that down. no but actually for real is it not like significant to everyone#light is this popular straight a student with a cop dad like is that not enough information about every aspect of his character???#it is about lights arrogance but also his philosophy about who is worthy of life being a reflection of what ''good/nice'' people value abou#human life. and what they consider disposable.#at least thats what it starts as but through the series obv we see light dig his heels in and do more and more kill more and more kill#''innocent'' (innocent in quotes bc it started with light using the law as his reason for killing) people#just to keep doing what he is doing#and the reason for that is he very clearly had the whole god complex he had power over peoples lives and he never stopped using that power#and we could see that additude reflected in all his other relationships too (the taskforce and his girlfriends)#so. like............ light is not kira bc he got the deathnote. kira is light because he got the death note.#when given the chance this perfectly lovely student would destroy so many lives and that is the point#so like.............#idk#sorry for death note posting idk why im feeling so passionate rn#and the reason L is obsessed with him is because he was supposed to be this perfect student but instead he is a liar and a killer and#as smart as he is hes equally as careless. hes a child. a teenager.#and L is someone who never got to be a child or a teenager.#so L someone who is so good at what he does and so out of place with everyone else no one even knows his name he starts playing this game#with light of course he is obsessed.#do you understand theyre literally judas and jesus#death note#tagging this for myself
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#i'm sorry i suck#i'm sorry i'm like this#why do you love me?#how can you love me?#i'm trash#i'm worthless#you deserve better#one day you'll realize how much better you could do#role reversal bc suddenly i'm dew#everyone i've ever loved has hurt me i'm destined for this#i'm too damaged and too broken t this point to be any good to anyone anyway#you deserve to be happy#and someday you'll know i can't give that to you#i'm useless#“my hands are not worthy”#nothing about me is#i'll never be good enough#especially not for you#“it's me i'm a freak”
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#i’m just putting all my thoughts here bc it’s easier than telling my friends the hard shut#bc i don’t want to worry anyone much less then#they all live so far away and only two of them have been able to see me and they can’t make time for a few weeks#i just don’t even have a desire to do anything man#i’ve spent all day laying on my couch staring at the wall#i haven’t eaten in days#i haven’t been getting my work done#this despair is deeper than a breakup it’s just a fundamental hatred of self#and the shitty thing is i felt okay with myself before i met him#i liked myself! and this relationship just tore me apart man#i only felt worthy when he chose to spend time with me#and even then he seemed like he hated being there#honestly? it seemed like he didn’t even like me at times#it wasn’t intentional he was never mean to me he put so much effort into being kind and patient and being with me#but i just feel like i have to twist everyone’s arms to love me man#i am fundamentally such a shit person i have to force people to spend time with me#i have tried so hard to be so upbeat for my friends and i feel like im failing them too#i am a horrible friend and a horrible daughter and i was a horrible partner#and sometimes i just feel like i don’t deserve to live like i just bring misery to everyone around me#delete laters
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The fact that Tartaglia is outright stated to have been running away from home the day he got lost in the Abyss got me THINKING,,,
#☆ ┆ ( .ooc. );#//It says it was bc of wanting to leave his ‘monotonous life’#//So he was ALWAYS abt excitement and thrill; maybe wanting to be a hero or great warrior of some sorts#//esp if he’d want to live up to his namesake#//The main part of Belle (Reprise) honestly RESONATES w him#//But ye; can you IMAGINE what must have been running through his mind?#//Maybe silently apologizing to his precious siblings for having to leave them; to his parents; bc he was too restless to stay?#//Did he think they’d hate him if he were to come back?#//Which hits harder knowing his dad was quick to send him off to the military when he came back ‘wrong’ compared to before#//Why he focuses on and dotes on his youngest siblings most over everyone else#//bc they would have still loved him as they did before; never treating him any different#//Or perhaps with MORE love and awe bc of all the stories he now has to tell of his exploits#//Teucer esp; with the lad wanting to be like him when he grows up#//Which makes Taru especially happy bc he does love the idea of seeing his baby brother take on the world as he has#//Though he certainly wants the lad to build up his own strength in due time; NOT by falling into the Abyss alone like he did#//He would like to spare Teucer and their mother that whole ordeal; thanks#//Thiugh if Teucer wanted to see and train in that place WITH him; well#//He wouldn’t be so opposed; as long as he and Teucer were both aware of it and the ramifications#//but he does like toying with the thought. Him and Teucer; against the Abyss! he likes the ring it had to it#hc; tartaglia#//Bc of some of the above jdbd#//Genuinely makes me wonder if he himself didn’t take his father shipping him off too hard BC of the monotony#//That maybe he might have been GLAD to get away from there again; now in a place where he could chase thrill& battle with WORTHY opponent#//Where he could gain MORE stories to tell his precious baby siblings; and see their little faces light up each time#//Getting a chance to be a great HERO to them#//Yet still is v well aware of how his parents and others now see him; how they Mourn the boy he once was; no matter what he does now#//Or smth idk lol#//Thinkings thinkings#//Would take it v hard when his baby siblings stop idolizing him so much; thinks they’ve come to be just like their parents& elder sibs#//He doesn’t care when it comes to the latter; but it be a genuine blow to his trust and heart. Teucer he fears this of especially
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